So, You Want a Horse?

Prelude — Happiness and the Horse

Happiness is not something we find in the outside world; it is an inner state, a frequency of being we return to when we know ourselves and live in harmony with the universal heart.

This is why people dream of horses. From children imagining wild ponies to adults longing for equine companionship, horses stir something deeper than admiration for beauty or majesty. They are not just symbols of freedom—they are mystical beckonings of a forgotten realm. Through their eyes; their essence, they call us home to ourselves.

Horses are among the greatest teachers of happiness because they lead us into communion with the Divine. They show us that while joy and pleasure may be fleeting; true happiness—a blissful state of being—emerges only when we connect with our authentic self. Horses are indeed those Divine beings that can guide us there if we open ourselves to listening.

When we commune with a horse, we learn how to commune with the Divine within. This is why so many are drawn to them without fully knowing why. The longing is not merely for a beautiful companion, but for the return to wholeness they mirror. Horses remind us: happiness is our natural state, waiting to be remembered.

One morning, we witnessed this truth as a gift. As the sun rose over the mountains, we woke to look out our window as we normally do to see the horses.  As the sunlight warmed the pasture, we witnessed our mare Diva—now nearing twenty-five years of age—suddenly break into dance at the dawn, expressing sheer joy for her life. We happened to capture it on video: a moment of pure bliss radiating from her being. It was beauty to witness and deeply moving. We felt grateful to know that the environment we provide—one of safety, sovereignty, and respect for her sentience—allowed her to feel so free and alive. Watching her dance was more than delight; it was spiritual. It was the reward of knowing we had created conditions where one of nature’s children could thrive. Her bliss was our home.

This is the invitation of the horse: to know thyself, to remember happiness not as a fleeting feeling, but as the deep current of life. And to understand that when we step into life with a horse, we are stepping into stewardship, not ownership.

Preface — A Synopsis, Not a Manual

This chapter is not a complete manual of horsemanship. It is a brief synopsis of insight questions and general care—an overview for anyone curious about horses or considering becoming a steward. It is also for the current horse steward to rekindle their love and commitment when life becomes challenging and confusing. We hope this will help to rebalance one’s passion and devotion to rediscover the horse like never before. 

Each topic discussed here could unfold into deeper study. No book—nor teacher—can fully prepare you for what a horse might require, for each horse is an individual, shaped by their history, gifts, wounds, and spirit.

Because of this, if one is prepared to move forward after truthfully having crossed off the list of requirements mentioned below, it is crucial when moving forward to first seek the guidance of someone who truly understands both horses and people. A good mentor helps not only with the animal’s needs but also with yours—your temperament, lifestyle, physical abilities, and emotional and spiritual aptitude. Stewardship is not just about the horse; it is about the meeting place between your life and theirs.

Often, people are drawn to a horse not because it is “easy” or “suitable,” but because that horse has a profound lesson to teach them. This can be deeply spiritual, humbling, even shattering to the human ego. A horse may expose illusions, strip away pride, and bring a person to raw authenticity. For some, this becomes a path of transformation. For others, unwilling to be humbled, it becomes the excuse to sell or abandon the horse. The difference is commitment. If you enter the life of a horse, you must be prepared not only to steward them, but to be taught and changed by them.

With this preface in mind, we offer a synopsis: a brief overview of understanding the horse, the questions you must ask yourself, and the practical needs they require, so you can weigh whether you are ready for the commitment of stewardship.

Part I — Horses as Sovereign, Sentient Beings

As we step into the inquiry of obtaining horses to become stewards of, we must first examine ourselves: are we truly candidates for stewardship? The decision is not simply about whether we want a horse, but whether we are willing to take on the lifelong responsibility of caring for one.

From there, we turn to understanding the horse. And to do so, we must begin with what conventional society rarely recognizes: the horse’s true essence. The “regular” horse world has historically overlooked their sovereignty and sentience, treating them as tools, possessions, or commodities. While this is slowly changing, the deeper truth is still not widely acknowledged.

At Chevalia, our endeavor is to shift this. We stand as stewards, advocates, and ambassadors—to speak for the horse on behalf of the horse. We welcome you into a deeper understanding of what the horse means to the world, what the horse may mean to you as an individual, and how they are, in truth, Divine messengers and guides. Horses help us to know ourselves, to remember happiness as a state of being, and to live in harmony with creation.

Part II — Readiness & the Hard Questions

Welcoming a horse into your life is not casual—it demands time, consistency, and unwavering presence. Vacations, weekend getaways, and “time off” must often be set aside. Unless you have a trustworthy, knowledgeable caretaker who knows your horse as an individual and can flow easily into proper care, acute awareness of unforeseen circumstances that may arise and how to deal with them, and proper handling through a respectful mutual relationship, you must be there.

This is not a hobby. It is not a pastime. It is a lifestyle. To live with a horse is to align your days with theirs, to accept that their well-being takes priority. Society tells us to live for convenience; the horse calls us into responsibility, rhythm, and natural time. The rewards are indescribable: joy, connection, transformation. But they come because of the sacrifices, not despite them.

The statistics are sobering. Many rescues and trainers report that nearly 80% of new horse owners sell within the first year. Of the remaining 20%, about 80% are resold within the next three to five years. Local realities vary, but the pattern is clear: only a fraction of horses find stable, lifelong homes—most often because humans underestimated the commitment required.

This is why honest self-inquiry before acquiring a horse is non-negotiable.

Seven Questions to Ask Yourself:

• Do I truly regard the horse as a sovereign, sentient being with needs, feelings, and thought-processes—not as equipment?

• Do I have the daily time, patience, and love to care for them for their entire lifetime?

• Have I researched and observed horses’ needs, gifts, and limitations?

• Am I prepared to uphold their well-being through life’s curveballs—without abandonment or resale?

• Am I willing to advocate for them, even against cultural norms of domination or use?

• Am I ready to provide for their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs?

• Am I willing to let this relationship transform me, drawing me into humility, presence, and natural rhythm?

Mentorship Before Ownership

Before bringing a horse home, immerse yourself in mentorship. Learn from someone already living in right relationship with their horses. Watch closely: are the horses soft-eyed, relaxed, and curious? Do they approach freely and willingly? These are signs of a safe, respectful bond.

One of the best ways to begin is to volunteer. Offer to muck stalls, clean paddocks, sweep aisles, or help with barn chores. These humble tasks are not beneath you—they are the foundation of stewardship. But when it comes to handling horses in any way—grooming, leading, tacking, or riding—you must only do so under the guidance of a mentor you fully trust and that embodies compassionate stewardship of horses.

Choose carefully. Observe how a prospective mentor interacts with their horses. Are the horses wide-eyed, tense, fearful, or reactive? Or are they soft-eyed, relaxed, and engaged? Do they blame and punish the horse? Do they disregard the horse as a sentient sovereign being? This will tell you whether the trainer’s philosophy is truly compassionate or ego-driven. In public equestrian centers you will see both sides: the beauty of genuine caretakers, and the dark side of ego-driven competition, harshness, and control. Many trainers speak the language of “natural” or “true” horsemanship, but the horses reveal the truth. The horse never lies.

The truth is that horses are often the victims of human ego in these environments. But it is valuable to witness this, because it teaches discernment. Watch carefully and let the horse tell you who to trust. Seek mentors who embody patience, clarity, compassion, and humility. Avoid those whose horses look hollow, rigid, fearful, or shut down. The greatest thing you can do in these circumstances is when you see the disconnect, listen to the horse, listen to your inner truth and stand firm in your commitment to advocate for them.  Too many people dream of horses only to, once realized, forget their dream and fall prey to the enticements of the ego, using force over flow, control over compassion, disregard over harmony and mutual respect.  

I cannot emphasize enough: a novice should never attempt to handle horses without a compassionate mentor who teaches safety, respect, and mutual boundaries. A mentor must show you how to walk with a horse, how to stop, how to read their body language, how to stand in grounded presence—always with compassion and always with the horse’s well-being first.

This is how my daughters learned. While our horses were temporarily housed at a large equestrian center for a year, they were responsible for turning in and turning out more than sixty horses daily. But they were not thrown into this without guidance—I was their mentor. I taught them how to cultivate divine presence within themselves: calmness, groundedness, focus, clarity, and respectful boundaries that commanded mutual respect from the horses.

Many of these horses lived in chronic stress, reflecting the egos or anxieties of their human stewards. My daughters had to help these horses decompress, to unlearn fear, and to relearn safety in the brief time they handled them. It was an intense crash course in energetic technique—a boot camp of divine presence. Presence itself was the technique: calmness, mutual respect, softness, and coherent energy became their tools.

The transformation was remarkable. Though the horses often remained anxious with their usual handlers, they began to immediately soften when they saw my daughters approach. Their eyes would change, their bodies would relax, their breath would deepen. A resonance of mutual respect and safety emerged—a sacred moment of recognition between horse and human.

To this day, my daughters cherish that apprenticeship. And I share it because it shows what is possible when mentorship, discernment, and presence align.

So if you are considering horse stewardship, begin here: volunteer, observe, and learn. Choose mentors with compassion, humility, and who interact with horses who radiate peace. Watch the horses—they will tell you everything you need to know. And never forget: the horse is always the truest measure. Observe before you commit.

Part III — The Commitment of Care

Horses thrive in rhythm with nature. To steward them well is to honor that rhythm.

Nutrition: Horses are grazing animals. Forage should be the foundation—grass or hay free of pesticides whenever possible. Modern soils are often depleted; thoughtful mineral balance and supplementation may be necessary. Avoid high-sugar feeds used to create artificial energy; they disrupt balance and behavior.

Water: Fresh, clean water must always be available. Non-negotiable.

Schedules: Horses need consistency. Feed them at regular times; irregular feeding can contribute to colic, a leading cause of death. Their bodies entrain to the daily rhythm—your reliability becomes their inner clock.

Rest & Play: Horses nap, bask in the sun, and require time to roll, run, and play. Movement is medicine.

Shelter: Provide choice-based shelter from heat, wind, and cold. Never confine them without the option to leave. Blanket them in temperatures lower than freezing. Be prepared to blanket and unblanket as temperatures fluctuate even throughout the day.

Companionship & Herd Life: Horses are herd animals. No horse should live alone. Ideally, they should have the ability to choose their companions. Herd dynamics are complex—sometimes inconvenient for the human—but essential for the horse’s well-being. Biological families often thrive together, and certain breeds naturally gravitate toward their own kind, though not always. Sometimes interspecies herds form with goats, chickens, or other animals. Still, whenever possible, the horse deserves a true equine herd.

Part IV — Horses as Individuals: Riding, Growth, and Consent

Each Horse Is Unique: Every horse is an individual. Some may enjoy light riding; others may not. Some bond deeply on the ground, preferring companionship and play. A horse’s worth is never measured by rideability.

The Myth of Usefulness: Too many humans assume that if a horse is not ridden, it is of no value. This is a human-centered distortion. Horses are not here to serve us; they are here to be themselves. Relationship with horses can be complete—even more profound—without ever placing a rider on their back.

Weight Ratios: If you do ride, ethics demand respect for physiology. A horse should not carry more than roughly 10-15% of its body weight, including tack. A 1,000‑lb horse should carry no more than 150 lb combined rider and equipment. Exceeding this consistently stresses the back, joints, and internal structures. The way that someone rides also plays a factor in getting out of the horse’s way as much as possible.  Position and lightness are key.  A proper position is not one of sitting in a chair, leaning forward or leaning back.  A standing position with knees only slightly bent and spine tall, but supple, and with soft legs and knees is vital.  Bitless is another aspect to riding as bits are unnecessary, cause pain and potential damage, and show a lack of relationship based on mutual respect and trust.  Riding our stallions bitless, is a testament to this.  It is breath not bits that communicate.

Growth Plates and Maturity: Horses’ skeletons are not fully mature until about 7–10 years of age, depending on breed. Growth plates—soft cartilage at the ends of bones—remain open through adolescence. Lighter breeds may mature closer to 6–7 years; larger/heavier breeds often need 9–10 years. Equine anatomist Dr. Deb Bennett has emphasized that vertebral growth plates are among the last to close. Starting horses under saddle too early can create lasting harm: arthritis, pelvic deformation, and chronic back pain. Archaeological studies echo this, showing pelvic and spinal damage in horses over-ridden too young, too hard, too long.

Conditioning and Consent: Even a mature horse must be fit and conditioned before carrying a rider. Saddle fit, musculature, and willingness matter. True riding is a conversation: does the horse consent, or are they merely submitting?

Part V — Horsemanship Paradigm: Force vs Flow

Principle	Force (Old Paradigm)	Flow (Living Paradigm)
View of the horse	Asset to control; obedience is success	Sovereign partner; relationship is success
Method	Breaking, punishment, gadgets	Timing, feel, curiosity, consent, breath, present moment, awareness
Nervous system	Fear tolerated; 'calm' is shut-down	Safety prioritized; soft eye, relaxed body
Motivation	Compliance through fear or sugar highs	Intrinsic willingness through clarity and trust
Learning	Flooding, forced exposure	Gentle exposure, invitation, meaning acceptance, timing
Space & movement	Restriction, confinement	Herd time, turnout, movement as medicine
Riding	Early, heavy, performance-driven	Mature, light, conditioned, consensual
Human state	Impatient, controlling, outcome-driven	Present, humble, responsive, rhythmic

Part VI — The Reciprocity

To live with a horse is to reshape your life: daily sacrifice, financial cost, and steadfast responsibility. It may mean saying no to vacations, saying yes to long days of care, and living by natural rhythm rather than societal convenience.

And yet the reciprocation is immense. Horses return us to nature. They strip away illusion. They open the universal heart. They mirror us, teach us, humble us, and invite us into coherence. They are bridges to the Divine Essence, guides home to our truest selves. And sometimes, they will break us down—not to destroy us, but to dissolve the falsehoods we cling to—so that we may return to authenticity. Stewardship is not only for their bodies; it is an apprenticeship to their wisdom.

References & Further Study

• Dr. Deb Bennett, PhD — work on equine skeletal maturity and growth plates.

• International Society for Equitation Science (ISES) — research on horse behavior and ethical training.

• Equine Science Society — publications on nutrition, welfare, biomechanics.

• Veterinary guidance on rider/horse weight ratios (~15–20% including tack).

• Archaeological studies on skeletal damage associated with early/heavy riding.

Note: This chapter is a synopsis. Each section can be expanded into deeper study and adapted to the unique needs of each horse and human partnership